Refocusing

Last week was crappy.

Like crawl-in-a-hole, tenant-moving-in-the-middle-of-the-night-and-there-goes-my-occupancy-bonus, the-checkbook-needs-CPR, don't-hug-me-because-I'll-cry crappy. This week I'm recalibrating. Instead of focusing on the things that I don't have, I'm focusing on the things that I don't have.

Re-read that as many times as you want, it really says that.

I don't have a body that prevents me from taking care of my home and family. I don't have non-functioning appliances. I don't have an abusive dictator of a husband who punishes me for imperfection. I don't have children with an unhealthy example of parental roles. I don't have a small social circle comprised mostly of acquaintances. I don't have children who resent me and yell that they hate me and threaten to run away. I don't have alcoholism and drug addiction in my home. I don't have collection agencies calling me all hours of the day and night. I don't have gangs and drug dealers and hookers out my multi-locked front door. I don't have to walk miles to find potable water. I don't have bombs exploding and sniper fire shattering the night.

I do have tenants breaking their lease under cover of darkness, a checkbook that needs CPR, and days that I'd like to rewind and sleep through. I do have a dirty floor, a baby with a nasty chest cold, a 3-year-old with a short fuse and violent temper, a 6-year-old with a short fuse and a less-violent temper, an 8-year-old who keeps asking when we can go to Maui, and a husband who plays online chess at (I think) inopportune moments. I do have great friends who love me and would do anything they could to support me, extended family who would do the same and then some, and a knowledge that my Heavenly Father knows me, loves me and is taking care of me.

Especially on crappy days.