Home

In life, we are presented with choices: forks in the road.  Sometimes that fork looks more like a dead end; sometimes it's clear choice--left or right; sometimes that fork looks like it slipped into the garbage disposal and we wonder what the heck piece-of-junk options we have from which to choose.

At our current juncture in Life, Riah & I are at a fork.  However, our fork is more like a trailhead with multiple signs, and lots of trails...some clearly marked, some barely visible through the underbrush.  The variables boil down to schooling, income and residence.  Psshht!  Trifles.  How to get from Point A to Point B.  The B resources would easily allow us to start on that path, but we don't have the B resources while sitting at A.  Ugh.

The other night we were up late--really late--discussing options, punching numbers and talking of the grown-up stuff that I didn't know was part of the bargain way back in high school when I longed to be a grown-up.  (It's a bit overrated at times.)  I had interviewed for a job that sounded like it would be a great situation...in a few years.  But the main problem is that the hours would have me leaving before the kids were up for school, then off work after my new kindergartener is out.  (Due to schooling eccentricities, the older 3 are at one 1-8 school we love, but Cora would be on her own at a different elementary school--no kindergarten.)  I'm just not ready to miss out on my last few years of Wes, as well as the contact with Cora before & after her fun entry into the world of the Big Kids.  Going back to work full time would break my heart and create some serious logistic issues.

So that night I sobbed cried to my Heavenly Father, "Where's the solution?  I just don't see it."

The next morning I woke up Wes by sitting on the side of the bed.  (He had climbed into ours overnight, which is par for the course.  He's a major snugglebug.)  His first words were, "Oh, there you are."  (With the exact tone and voice of the Lost Boy in Hook.)  My sweet boy who's getting so big so fast crawled into my lap, snuggled himself into my arms and said contentedly, "I'm home."

I'm home.  Probably the most perfect way to summarize the feeling of a child wrapped in his mother's arms.

I cried.

"Yes, baby.  Yes you are."

I still cry.

Riah, who was right there to witness this little miracle, said quietly, "You can't work full time."

And so for now my main job will continue to be at Home with my sweet boy wrapped in my arms.  Right where I belong.

 

PS--this morning Riah started down one of those overgrown paths that we hadn't really seen at first glance.  The next couple of weeks will be a little crazy as he walks two paths at the same time (I'll be stocking up on 5-Hour Energy bottles), but it's what we need right now.  The Lord does provide in His way and in His time.