Really?

I opened some junk mail the other day and was highly amused by a solicitation that my husband received. I saved it just because it made me laugh out loud. Check out a few snippets of his 8 page personal, pre-sorted first class letter:

"Riah, please forgive us, but we have just taken a closer look at your profile. It turns out you're more special than any of us imagined! Did you know that you possess some very rare, hidden traits? In fact, there is a famous person (someone you would instantly recognize, he's on TV every night) who possesses theses same special, incredibly rare traits. ...It turns out that people who possess these same rare and often hidden traits that you do are some of the most famous and successful people on this planet! Riah, you are indeed blessed! I know those around you don't know this yet, but they will! Down deep, you sense it, too. Right? I'm so excited for you!"

[This trait wouldn't happen to be gullibility, would it?]

Later...

"Here's a fraction of what you'll learn...
--Learn where the profits are and where they are not in all games of chance, poker, bingo, blackjack, lotteries, casino games or any gambling situation.
--Learn how to transfer all money, power, prestige from the uninformed to you...instantly.
--Learn how to use this new scientific knowledge to begin generating huge sums of money within hours...automatically...without even trying.
--Learn how to win any lover in any situation or how to regain your ex-lover.
--Learn how to lose all the weight you want or eliminate any addiction.
--Learn to control anyone, man or woman, anywhere.
--Learn to easily beat any opponent in your life...in any situation.
--Learn how to make your new powers render all others helpless.
--Learn how to be more intelligent.
--Learn how to make everyone you meet want to be your friend.
--Learn how to make your every relationship better and more fulfilling."

It's signed by John. No last name, just John.

And it's FREE!!!

I'm convinced. You?